Dreams involving past relationships and family members can often reflect our current emotional states and unresolved issues. In your dream, the presence of your old boyfriend indicates that you may still have lingering feelings or unresolved conflicts regarding your relationship with him. The act of making up and feeling safe while holding hands suggests a desire for reconciliation and emotional connection, despite the controlling behavior you experienced in reality. This may indicate a yearning for the positive aspects of that relationship while grappling with the negative ones.
The inclusion of your mother, who has passed away, points to a longing for comfort and guidance, especially during a challenging time with your sister. Your mother’s presence might symbolize a need for support as you navigate family dynamics, particularly the strained relationship with your sister.
Refusing to engage with your sister in the dream reflects your feelings of hurt and the unresolved tension between you. It’s possible that your subconscious is processing the grief from your mother's passing, which has also affected your relationship with your sister.
The bathroom scene where you realize you cannot pee might symbolize your struggle for control or the inability to express certain feelings or needs in your waking life. The confusion between dreaming and waking could indicate a feeling of being stuck or overwhelmed, as well as a desire to release pent-up emotions or frustrations.
Overall, this dream suggests a complex mix of emotions regarding love, loss, and unresolved conflicts. It may be beneficial to explore these feelings further, perhaps considering ways to address the issues with your sister and finding closure regarding your past relationship.