Thank you for sharing your dream. Dreams that involve significant emotions and personal fears can often reflect our inner thoughts and conflicts.

In your dream, being in the hospital bed suggests vulnerability and perhaps the need for healing—either physically or emotionally. The act of being heroic before ending up in the hospital indicates that you may feel a sense of sacrifice or that your actions may have unintended consequences. Your fear of sharing your feelings about having "magic" could symbolize your apprehension about revealing your true self or capabilities to someone you care about.

The presence of the woman you have feelings for represents a desire for connection and intimacy, but her reaction and your subsequent fear of your own reflection as a monster suggest deep-seated insecurities. This monster could symbolize your fears about being unworthy of love or harming those you care about. The internal struggle between wanting to be close to her and fearing your darker side is a powerful conflict that many people experience.

Your choice to run away instead of confronting your fears may indicate a tendency to avoid problems or a fear of intimacy. The letter from her, begging you to return, represents longing and possibly the hope that she has for your relationship, but your decision to keep running suggests a struggle with self-sabotage and the fear of vulnerability.

This dream encourages you to reflect on your fears and how they might be affecting your relationships. Consider what steps you can take to confront these feelings and communicate openly with the people in your life. Facing your fears rather than running from them could lead to personal growth and deeper connections with others.

Overall, this dream serves as a reminder to explore your inner thoughts and consider how they impact your actions and relationships.