Dreams involving childhood homes often symbolize nostalgia, unresolved issues from the past, or a return to familiar emotional landscapes. In your dream, being in your childhood home as your current age suggests that you may be revisiting past experiences or emotions that still affect you today.

The intense feelings of being overwhelmed and unable to complete a task may reflect current pressures in your waking life, such as deadlines or responsibilities that feel unmanageable. This could indicate a fear of failure or inadequacy, especially if you feel unprepared or unsupported in your endeavors.

The presence of your abuser, despite their death, points to the lasting impact of trauma. It suggests that unresolved feelings and memories from that time are still haunting you, manifesting as internal struggles. Your attempt to block them out indicates a desire to protect yourself from past harm, but the feelings of helplessness and lack of control you experienced in the dream suggest that these issues may still hold power over you.

The sensation of feeling blackout drunk and unable to control your body could symbolize a feeling of being overwhelmed by emotions, perhaps indicating a struggle with anxiety or past trauma.

This dream may be urging you to confront these underlying issues, seek support, and work toward healing. Consider talking to a therapist or a trusted person about your feelings and experiences, as processing these emotions can be a vital step toward regaining control and finding peace.